


Loss and Discovery

by MixBerkaan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot, Poetic, i didnt mean for it to be so dramatic im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 00:44:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6730405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MixBerkaan/pseuds/MixBerkaan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: #14 - "Hey, I'm with you, okay? Always"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loss and Discovery

To be alone isn’t all that bad. 

Sometimes, when we’re alone, we have a chance to find ourselves: our strengths, our weakness, our feelings. The state of solitude is the state of discovery. 

Sometimes, when we’re alone, we have a chance to recuperate: to be ourselves, to get away, to escape obligation. The state of seclusion is the state of peace.

Sometimes, when we’re alone, we have a chance to understand: to process, to emote, to reconcile. The state of isolation is the state of healing.

To be alone isn’t all that bad. 

To be lonely, on the other hand–to be lonely is the worst fate imaginable. With death, it’s over, with torture, we heal. But loneliness? Loneliness is an ache medicine cannot cure. It eats away at our self worth, it squeezes our lungs in a phantom grasp, it makes us envious of the connections surrounding us. Loneliness is the worst fate imaginable. 

There is the loneliness of rejection, where people cast you aside; they want nothing to do with you, who you are, or what you stand for. 

There is the loneliness of distance, where the people you love are far from you; you can speak often or you can’t, but all the words in the world cannot take you to them.

And then, there is the loneliness of leadership, where, for the sake of those who follow, you maintain distance; you wish to bridge the gap, but doing so impairs your ability to lead.

Any one of these can pick away at us, but the last is the hardest to resolve. With rejection, we can look forward to a day of acceptance. With distance, we can hope for a meeting. But leadership, that self-imposed isolation, takes a little bit more.

On the court, there are as many forms of leadership as there are ways to score, or to keep the ball in the air. There’s leadership in a receive: getting the ball up and creating a chance for a point. There’s the leadership of the serve: initiating the volley. There’s the leadership of the block: stopping the opponent. The leadership of the captain: inspiring the team, the setter: coordinating the plays, the ace: scoring the point. Each one of these is an act of stepping forward, of pushing the limits, of momentarily distancing yourself from your peers. 

Some can relinquish the role as easily as they take it. For others, they can’t let go, not without help. The Ace’s attack is received: the volley continues and the game is lost. The Setter’s play is read: the spike is blocked and the point is scored. It becomes so easy for the distance of leadership to become corrupt and poisonous. It becomes so easy for self doubt and blame to creep in. It becomes so easy to maintain the isolation. 

In the quiet nights following the worst defeats, the Setter and the Ace come home. They lock the doors, and turn off the lights. They huddle under the covers, and focus on the other. Words are whispered: reassurances, reminders, comforts. 

“You’re not alone”

“It’s not you”

“I’m here for you”

"Always"

In the sunlit mornings following the quiet nights, the Setter and the Ace have ceased to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little drabble from [this](http://thesefuckingfandoms.tumblr.com/post/143644713783/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you) ask meme. If I get any more prompts from it, I'll post them as new chapters on this fic. I got really dramatic and poetic with it I'm so sorry. Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Come talk to me on [Tumblr](http://thesefuckingfandoms.tumblr.com) and/or [Twitter](http:www.twitter.com/MixBerkaan)!


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